First off, to answer your question: Yes, that was a Li’l Sebastian reference, combined with a Skyscraper reference. What do hunky ex-wrestler-turned-action star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who stars in upcoming Die Hard homage Skyscraper, and a butterscotch-colored miniature horse have in common? Why, absolutely nothing, other than our excitement to see them both back onscreen!
Okay, so we haven’t officially confirmed that this is, in fact, Li’l Sebastian himself, but how many miniature horse performers can there really be out there? When last we saw Robert Pattinson, who is now this tiny equine darling’s caretaker, apparently, he was working with a different set of brothers: Josh and Benny Safdie, who were responsible for last year’s tightly-crafted and heart-pumping thriller Good Time. Now, he’s working with the Zellners (David and Nathan), who you may know from the 2014 hit drama Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter, starring Rinko Kikuchi. Damsel is a pretty big departure for Pattinson—while some might call the Twilight saga comedy, it certainly wasn’t intentionally crafted as such—and we’re getting a distinctly Coen-Esque whiff of absurdity off of this trailer. And it smells good. We’re big fans of both meta movies and weird westerns, and this seems like it definitely checks both boxes.
Speaking of meta movies, normally we’d be skeptical of a disaster thriller that’s so blatantly referential, the way, for example, the upcoming release Den of Thieves is basically just a remake of Heat. But even though Skyscraper isn’t a Christmas movie, we can’t think of a better way to celebrate the thirtieth anniversary of Die Hard than by remaking it, setting it in Hong Kong, and replacing Bruce Willis, whose turn in (speaking of remakes) Death Wish has been causing for some serious side-eye, with The Rock, who just won our hearts as a giant gorilla’s best friend and who has been given yet another added dimension as an amputee with a prosthetic leg. If that prosthetic leg isn’t used to kill a guy, well, we’ll eat our shoe like Werner Herzog.
Traditionally speaking, the thirtieth anniversary is the “pearl anniversary.” The skyscraper in Skyscraper is called “The Pearl.” Coincidence? Probably, but it could also be one heck of an esoteric easter egg. Technically this is the movie’s second trailer; the first was released during the Super Bowl. But while that was a mere forty-five seconds or so of action, this new trailer gives us much, much more—including a preview of the kind of death-defying and gravity-subverting stunts we’ll be seeing Mr. Johnson attempt in order to save his wife (who, for those of us who didn’t grow up in the 80s or 90s, is none other than scream queen Neve Campbell) and children. Honestly, the only thing that’s going to be suspended more dramatically is our disbelief…not that there’s anything wrong with that! The skyscraper will be in theaters beginning July 13, otherwise known as peak blockbuster season. Thank goodness for that, since we’ll need some A/C in order to handle all of this fire. You can’t see it, but we’re fanning ourselves already.